My life at the moment feels like this plant. Let me tell you about this plant.
Abe has had this plant since before we got married. It’s a plant from his mom’s funeral. It means a lot to Him and it’s my life’s goal to keep it alive. Well, one of my life goals.
My green thumb is nowhere to be found. It is stressful to watch this plant through its seasons of flourishing to seasons of wilting. I want it to live.
This summer, I’ve been tending to other things. Mainly because I’ve been out of town most weeks. I did have someone come water it every now and then, but usually I’d forget to ask them to water it.
When I got home after lots of traveling, the plant was brown, shriveled up, and looking like it was dead.
I didn’t lose hope though.
Pruning it took a while, and I was left with one green vine about 5 inches long and lots of roots.
I have kept it watered for about a month now.
One day I went to water it and noticed two new flourishes beginning to grow! The old has gone and the new is taking my tender care and water!
You have no idea how amazed I was that this plant, which didn’t look like it was going to make it and that has sentimental meaning in our home, is actually flourishing again, slowly but surely.
There is new growth.
So how does this parallel with my life at the moment?
Motherhood and wife-hood have been a pruning process in my life. Gracefully, God has allowed them to be.
The mindsets and selfishness that comes naturally to me have been revealed more and more to me, and my husband, through these times.
It’s also been a season of figuring out how I fit into, and see myself in, these roles as a wife and mom.
Trying to figure out if I should be doing anything for work from home has also been something I’ve had to journey through. Am I okay with not getting anything accomplished except the stuff around the house and playing with baby P? I know I’m supposed to be, but the achiever and type A personality in me has to be reassured every day.
This summer has been one for the books. Abe has been working out of town all summer. I’ve been able to see him most weekends, but basically it’s been baby P and I by ourselves. We were able to visit family the first half of the summer, but have been home for the last month or so basically by ourselves.
God has graciously taken my “kinda scared of being by myself at home-always tired-not motivated all the time-selfish” self and toughened me up a bit, I guess I could say. And I don’t deny that there is still alot of these things.
But I am thankful for this summer in a way.
God has worked on a few areas and pulled out the dead places and I’m miraculously seeing some new good things starting to grow.
Like, I am loving the days I get to spend just playing with my son. Whenever he wakes me up at night, I now see it as extra special cuddle time with my growing boy. Time away from my husband means time thinking about him and praying for his needs instead of sulking in the fact he’s not here right now and can’t give me attention. At the end of the day, I don’t count the things I accomplished, I intentionally put my rest in what Jesus did for me on the cross and the new life He has called me into.
It’s a funny feeling to be pruned; I feel the uncomfortable pain of it but also experience the new blessings from it.
I’m thankful for images like the plant to form my mental image and help put what I’m feeling into words. This plant pruning image reflects the process of God’s sanctification. I’m very, very thankful for both the image and the process.